(Bitter)Sweet

I just finished my last weekend class of this degree!  I feel simultaneously relieved and also quite sad.  Though I often felt somewhat on the periphery, I have incredible respect and love for the beautiful souls I have had the privilege to study with.  These are my people.  It’s rare to find that.

It’s funny how we can work so hard to achieve a goal and look so forward to getting there, and then wake up and see that it truly is the journey that matters.

Okay, that’s not true.  The outcome is pretty damn important too!  Yet it is the journey that adds to the richness of the accomplishment.

Moving forward, I feel some regret that I always kept myself slightly removed and yet I acknowledge that is part of who I am and that is okay too.  I stretched myself throughout this process and I am proud of that – I choose to place my attention on that aspect.  Was I always able to partake fully?  No.  Did I manage to push some previously inflexible boundaries and to respect yet others?  Yes.

I choose to focus on how my education has helped me to grow and how beautiful an experience I have had.  I was lucky enough to spend many many hours over the past three years discussing topics that make my soul smile.  I have engaged in introspection and reflections that have broadened my world view and allowed me to see the validity of other perspectives.  I have learned to apply empathy and compassion to all people, not just the ones for whom I feel affinity.

I have not just learned the “skills” of counseling.  Even more amazing (to me), I have internalized the essence of counselling into who I am.  I will forever approach life with this new lens.  This is still somewhat startling and wonderful to me.

I am changed.  Thank you classmates, thank you profs, thank you God.

Thank you self.

I like me better now.

I passed!

It was a terrifying process, and I had a few moments of real uncertainty of the outcome, but I am so excited to say that I passed my exam!  I am so unbelievably relieved and excited.

Three more weeks of courses and papers and I will be done… I’m a little dazed about that.

Thank you for the words of support and encouragement – it was a real comfort during my preparation.  It’s so good to have people rooting for you in times of stress and struggle.