Very soon I will be heading out on what should be an amazing vacation with my family.  We are having a bit of a European adventure and I know this is something my parents have been working very hard to fund.  I am grateful and excited but also terrified.

Interestingly, the food fear is not the big one.  That surprises even me, but on that front, I see this as a great opportunity to have a vacation from my rules – let’s hope I can do that.

What really scares me though is being with people for 3 weeks.  I am a very introverted person and I need a lot of down time.  I crave moments of peace and solitude.  My family are not raging extroverts or anything, but they are all people who are paired or partnered or in some way have other people around all the time.  They are used to it and they like it.  They don’t understand the “energy” needs of someone like me.  They try but none has ever spent much time alone and so it is difficult for them to know what it is like to go from having solitude to suddenly being immersed with people.

I wish I was the type of person that felt only joy and excitement about this. It saddens me that I have so much anxiety about what should be a plainly positive experience.  It also causes immense guilt.  However, I am working to accept that this is a part of who I am and that it is okay.

My plan of action includes taking time each morning to meditate.  I am hopeful that meditation will be something they can understand and so it will buy me a few minutes of silence and self containment.

My other plan is to really recognize this is only 3 weeks, it’s going to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and, wow, this is incredibly exciting and I am going to have fun!!! 🙂

See you in September…

One Reply to “Vacation”

  1. Amy

    Aww, have fun on your trip! I totally understand that anxiety and I think taking time to yourself in the mornings and when you can will be very helpful. Have a great time!

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